What They Have
by SucreRose
Summary: A fic about a fic...sorta. Based off of some of my personal experiences. A girl thinks about her own life while reading a RH fic. Read and review, tell me what you think of it. Rated T just in case.


Author's Note: I know weird concept: fan fic about a fan fic. Just read it and lemme know how you feel. Story based off of a friend's recently shared feelings about R/H fan fiction. No names are used because I don't want the characters labeled. End of story. The excerpt taken from my other fic "Bulgaria?"

Disclaimer: none of the Harry Potter characters are mine. They belong to JKR, Warner Bros.

"Hermione loves me, Hermione loves me, Hermione loves me… was all that he heard in his head. So then he did the only thing that appeared sensible to him. He walked a step closer and kissed her right on the lips. To him, it felt like this was the only thing that mattered."

The girl sat, engrossed in the words, tears beginning to form in her eyes. She continued reading, the tears starting to fall onto her cheeks. She backed away from her computer and leaned into her chair. Why can't he love me the way Ron loves Hermione? She asked herself. Why is he so far away? Why does he hurt me this much without doing anything? she continued to ask herself questions about the boy whom she loved. Why can't we have the love that Ron and Hermione have for each other? I know he loves me. I just don't know if he'll ever see me again. And he's the only one who's ever understood everything about me.

She went back to looking for more fics to read, trying to distract herself a little. She found one and began to read. It didn't seem like the kind that would make her sad. She was wrong. She couldn't finish it. It hurt too much. She missed so much. Missing him was what forced her to continue to read fan fiction. Ever since the beginning of HP ships, she had loved the R/H pairing. Every time she read a new fic, it made her hope of what she might someday have. After him, she couldn't read them anymore without feeling pain. Tonight was different though. She had never been pushed to tears before. She normally didn't cry. It wasn't something she allowed herself to do.

She missed him. She missed him more then she should. It was only a distance of 3 hours. They could make it work. Right? They hadn't seen each other in a month, exactly. Not that she counted. She could remember saying goodbye more vividly then any other memory. She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around herself, trying to get some type of comfort.

"_I'm leaving now," she said, barely able to speak. His face fell. They hugged each other, holding on for what seemed like an eternity._

She could remember the way he smelled, the way she felt like she was safe from everything in his arms.

_ A tear slowly fell from her eye and she wiped it away quickly so he wouldn't see. When they finally broke apart, he dragged his hand, along her arm til he reached her hand and their fingers intertwined gently, eyes locked the whole time. _

Her heart still quivered at the thought. She closed her eyes again, tears still falling. She began to remember other times.

_ They had been dancing together all night, but it was all fast songs. When a slow song came on, he held onto her. He slowly lifted up her chin asked her, can I kiss you?. She nodded her head, and he kissed her. She felt tingly sparks start from her lips and radiate downwards, all the way to her toes. They broke away and she rested her head on his shoulder. Even after the song was over, they continued to stay like that, swaying._

Remembering their first kiss hurt more then most things. In order to get through the past few weeks, she couldn't let herself think of those memories. When she did think of them, it made her cry and unable to breathe. She could remember all the time they'd spent together, both not wanting to think of the end. She thought a little more. "We're nothing like Ron and Hermione," she said quietly to herself. "We can't have what they have. It will never be like that."

She got up and went outside. She saw threatening rain clouds but didn't care. She just ran down the street, trying to run out the pain. Soon it began to rain. As the rain covered her, she began to cry. This time she really cried. It wasn't a few little tears. It was real crying. Soon she found she was out of breath but she didn't care. She just kept running and crying. When she finally stopped, she collapsed to her knees and looked up at the sky, sobbing.


End file.
